b-sides
released:

all songs written by the trash can sinatras and published by emi music limited or go!discs music.

lyrics are best guesses unless otherwise noted.

who's he?

(lyrics updated officially on may 1, 2008)

little bohemian lost his sheep
and i know where to find them
just meet me at the end of my tether
and there they are
it's the same old story
in a blaze of glory
we can change this town
this friday night
but in a glaze of bleary
they drop like, drop like, drop like flies
you wrote about your heroes it reads like a 'who's who'
you wrote about your life and it read like a 'who's he?'

so fall in, fall about, your country needs you now
gather your legs and sup up your dregs
carry the crusade up the home strait
and the crooked mile
back to your wife
she's in bed, she sleeps late
she don't fret or worry
cuz it won't be very long till cliche guevara's home

when the manifesto is a schoolboy thesis
when the man in charge is like a greasy jesus
it's taking on epic proportions before my weary eyes
turning the old town into a backdrop
sssh it's so quiet, you could hear a name drop

so fall in, fall about, your country needs you now
gather your legs and sup up your dregs
carry the crusade up the home strait
and the crooked mile
back to your wife
she's in bed, she sleeps late
she don't fret or worry
cuz it won't be very long till cliche guevara's home

love and hate are written all over your fist

so fall in, fall about, your country needs you now
gather your legs and sup up your dregs
carry the crusade up to the home strait
and the crooked mile
back to your wife
she's in bed, she sleeps late
she don't fret or worry
cuz it won't be very long till cliche guevara's home
cliche guevara's home, cliche guevara's home

drunken chorus

(lyrics updated officially on may 1, 2008)

i'm looking on the bright side
but i still don't see the light
and why are friends so hard to find
on wednesday night?
i've got a ten pound note in my pocket
and it'll never find it's way back home
and you thought i'd be lonely
when you'd gone

discipline is a shelter
the punishment's my home
built on sticks and stones
and now brittle bones
i'm just a slip of a thing
and now i'm on the slide
and i get so confused on my own

barmaids beware
sweet-stout style
and whiskey-drunk flair

i'm drinking the wishing well dry
and collecting the coins
and my cup's brimming over with bliss
seems that when my throat gets dry
my words get wry
and i raise my glass like a fist
and every sip's a kiss

you used to say my secrets were safe
and that i had no need
to lock them away
but i could kick myself to death
for leaving you the key
and now i know
what security means to me
hard to get a hold of
what it means to me
and it's hard to get out of the gutter
when it's raining feet
and every helping hand's a fist

i'm drinking the wishing well dry
and collecting the coins
and my cup's brimming over with bliss
seems that when my throat gets dry
my words get wry
and i raise my glass like a fist
every sip's a kiss

but hey where will i go
and now that you have gone
and now that you have gone
and now that it has gone
where will i go
no, nowhere, where will i go
no no, where will i go, no nowhere

useless

(lyrics updated officially on may 1, 2008)

just off the boat
they pushed out on a spending spree
of spite and i've caught
a taxi to half-way home, i’ve miles, miles, miles to go

i gave the bar room bores
a lesson in making sure you walk home alone
with the dregs of your dignity to keep you company

a lull in the language left my words there
lying bare faced i began to hate the sound of my own voice
some are born in heaven
some are born in irvine
and then the door is as far as they will go

another chorus line urge
crushed by the coast line quirks
who’ve held their high tide
since leaving their problems in the secondary modern

a man who tried harder then i
pulled me across to one side he said
‘hang on to your head i’ll help you through’
some are born in heaven
some are born in irvine
and the door is as far as they will go

with an old hand on a young brow
he said ‘i must go’
and i asked ‘show me how’
put one foot on the gravy train and
you’ll get there
but i never left home - i just stayed upstairs

they told me something i already knew
they covered my frame in black and blue
they wrote underneath the conclusion they drew
useless is just something beginning with you
useless is just something beginning with you
useless is just something beginning with you
beginning with you

my mistake

(lyrics updated officially on may 1, 2008)

the beds are all taken
it’s the ugly aftermath
and gestures were just gestures
i look back and then at the sky
i take a swig and then reel home

sometimes i, sometimes i...as early seagulls scatter i sigh
sun dries eyes, sun dries eyes...did i dream what i just saw
sometimes i think the summer made august adults out of us
it did it’s worst
i’ll breathe onto a window
and wipe on the words
better next than never

i read your body - it was an open book
you seemed to have the vanity, but never the looks

sometimes i, sometimes i...as early seagulls scatter i sigh
sun dries eyes, sun dries eyes...did i dream what i just saw
it’s the oldest trick in the book
you listen to all my secrets
but you don’t tell me yours

i’ve been taken to see
disney in reverse
a boy is leering
over the worst
i’d mistaken/misread
all she'd rehearsed
my mistake
come do your worst

for the meantime

(official lyrics)
keep that watch wound up tightly
even though there's a crack on the face
and the strap's strength hangs in the air
like a threat of violence
we have time to kill
but we don't have time to waste

catch me in conversation i locked my own chains
i was more eager to welcome hindsight
than to take the strain
this strain, this strain, this strain

soon you'll be knocked from your feet
crying, that was short and sweet
don't hang fire, listen to the liar on the lower floor

if you see a stick break it cuz the fire's run low
and if you drop your guard i could
see i was dancing in the dying embers' glow

hey you running on the spot
can i have a ticket, i must get to my destination
before the train runs out of track
run out of track
soon you'll be knocked from your feet
crying, that was short and sweet
don't hang fire, listen to the liar on the lower floor

hey you running on that spot
can i have a ticket, i must get to my destination
before this train runs out of track
soon you'll be knocked from your feet
crying, that was short and sweet
don't hang fire, listen to the liar on the lower floor

say

(lyrics updated officially on may 1, 2008)

but i don't mind if you don't
don't mind if you don't
you know i don't, you know i don't
you know i don't, you know i really don't
you know i don't, you know i don't
you know i don't, you know i really

i wish you could
take me like a harvest
i think you should
be brash and immodest

all she could say was
if you really want
oh, you should say now
yes, i really want
all he could say, all he could say
all he could say was no you really won't
all he could say, all he could say
all he could say was no you really won't
all he could say, all he could say
all he could say was no you really won't
all he could say, all he could say
all he could say was no you really won't

kangaroo court

(lyrics updated officially on may 1, 2008)

well there's a mirror mother
that's taken us so far
but it's that little bit further
i sure could never allow
leaving on the glasgow train
it's unconceivable
i can see your "no"
i'm dying to see that you know

well there's the low green summer
rivers, swans, trolley rust and reeds
and there's a shell from the shore
i swear, just listen keen
can't you hear the sound of the seaside saying "stay"
it's unconceivable...unbelievable
it's funny the last one home
leaves when you need them most
it's here - here that I belong

the kangaroo court's on the corner waiting
the alarm bells are ringing in our heads
clatter like cards between the spokes
surely some hell of a hoax
it's unconceivable
i can see your "no"
it's unbelievable
i can see your "no" (see your "no")
see you know
it's here that i belong

skin diving

(lyrics updated officially on may 1, 2008)

a park bench affair
innocent there’s no need to ask me
didn’t think twice, did i
i know, oh i know
wished for night
wished to swim, diving in if you would
lower me slow it’s my first time
i know, don’t i know

i’m the one who fainted

(lyrics updated officially on may 1, 2008)

here’s to the shadow that sliced off my nose
the guy with me, the first on the scene
the friend in the bureau and the policeman
who she called
and here’s to the e.n.t. surgeon who stuck it back in its place
and here’s to the aging therapist
the one who had a lot to say
about my dear old brother
on the virginal constraint

i’m the one in assembly
the one who fainted on that day
the one who ran at out - made quite a name
i’m the one
the one who wanted heaven back
who lay on the blenheim tracks
was driven away

sacred hearts, sacredly oblique arts
sacred abandoned parts, seemingly strange
flawed prototype, zebra of the family
limp on the brain

i’m the one in assembly
the one who fainted on that day
the one who ran out - made quite a name
remember me don’t you
don’t dismember me, you who
you resemble me don’t you
go away, go away, go away...hey!

houseproud

(lyrics updated officially on may 1, 2008)

sarah had elizabeth
and elizabeth had me
she tied me up tight always there umbilically
these knots don't come free
come now we’ll go out tonight
take the weight off and cuss your cares
from knee deep and indoors
to us two on all fours
drunk as we could be

i was haunted and housebound
i wandered for days round here
i sat on the landing a dim understanding grew clear
houseproud - i nearly brought the house down
houseproud

ask davy

(lyrics updated officially on may 1, 2008)

on the midnight express number 3-9-4
he wants his genius proclaimed
i think he wants it nailed to the floor

in the back of his shack in a lack of a second opinion
with a burning intent and a head of steam
he went to london, he's gonna make’em
make them sing

i rattle his brains
on a one ring chain
that gets me nowhere near
just sperm and ash
spends his mother’s cash
the would-be has-been here

strung up and hung out on the city doors
always pulling up socks that his mama bought
get him outta my sight
get him outta my ears
fuck his "burning intent" and his "head of steam"
i’ve got him nailed
he went to london it fell asleep

i rattle his brains
with a one ring chain
that gets me nowhere near
just sperm and ash
spends his mother’s cash
the would-be has-been here
just spunk and ash
spends his mama’s cash
he gets me outta here

no gasoline

(lyrics included with the 'twisted and bent' cd)

i fold and unfold it,
i rolled it and sold it
my hands turning blue with the cold
well-fired at one end
and coo's-arsed the other
on friday I met a girl,
on friday I met a cowboy girl.

i stuck to her guns
as she showed me her circus
and asked me to stow away
the theater was empty
a pedestrian entry
the night they towed the shows away
riding shotgun, I worked the waltzer
with diesel hair and petrol temper

no gasoline?
syphon off rancid ritas
another tortured weekend ahead.

i'm in, i'm in, amen

the beer tent was empty,
i sang "one for my baby",
but the bastard just closed the bar.
no dumbo above us, no whipcrack
or sawdust-
and no more stars in these eyes

billy smart,
he broke my heart
now there's no magic in the mudflats.
no gasoline?
syphon off rancid ritas
took uppers and downers
and flying arounders

i've time to waste, cause mine's not money.
another tortured weekend ahead
amen.

mr.grisly

(lyrics included with the 'twisted and bent' cd)

there's a daddy long legs,
a crushed rain beetle

slim skinny jim on the brink again
under-umbrella'd, slip of a fella
he's gonna turn to the drink

talking to the boys
with dirty fingernails
skinheads and ponytails

here's the sledgehammer
there's the fingernails
some dumb sucker's
going off the rails

poor daddy long legs
washed away in the rain
just another little business
going down the drain
he won't be back here again

finding a job, losing a job,
all in a day
finding a job, losing a job,
drinking the pay
what will the missus say

mr. grisly
he only wanted just a quiet job to do

poor mr. grisly cried,
the angels leave him aside
finding a job, losing a job,
call it a day
finding a job, losing a job,
drinking the pay
finding a job wasn't what you thought
wasn't what you always hand in mind

you wanna go home
poor mr. grisly, you can't go home
poor mr. grisly, poor mr. grisly, poor mr. grisly
he can't go home

aberration

(lyrics included with the 'twisted and bent' cd)

i've got my frighteners on
and its mask a frightening
subconsciousness
i'll don all with my head shorn

weather my sense of the impossible,
which invariably can turn
very probable, even troublesome
add it to my aberration
and all the things i've, things i've never done...
my poor heart so bloody sure
that it is karl denver
every time she draws near;
and i feel a yodelling tremor,
signalling...
full ahead my abashment is on
i guess i should be gone...home

i'm swathed...
no wonder that i sweat
take a glance at her...
like a mother's suckling baby i wept
cut my swathe..
no wonder i sweat.
take a glance at her...

rosary beads
and iwept. from my brow,
i don't want it now?
even when i did
i didn't know why?
if? or just how troublesome
add it to my aberration
of all the things, all the things
i've never done
my poor heart so bloody sure
that it's karl denver
every time she draws near;
and i feel a yodelling tremor,
signalling...
full ahead my abashment is on

a boy and a girl

spooktime, spooktime
let’s enter the spirit world
this one’s got it in for you girl
let’s enter the living world
let’s make it a double girl
get set for the spirit world
let’s make it a boy and a girl
let’s make it a double girl
get into the spirit girl

let’s make a pair
boy and a girl
born in a fog
born under a cloud
a kick to the womb
and then we was out
crawled up to be good people you see
but just for a while then it seemed you and me

had no time to mess around
we’ll be going underground soon
now that’s no time to mess around

get into the spirit girl
not sure, let’s wait, let’s wait
it took us too long to find out
just how much we missed of our lives
will either of us or neither of us
will either of us be survivors of us

let’s make a pair
boy and a girl
born in a fog
born under a cloud
a kick to the womb
and then we was out
crawled up to be good people you see
but just for a while then it seemed you and me

got no time to mess around
we be growing underground around
now that’s no time to mess around
let’s make a pair.

stainless stephen

(lyrics included with 'the main attraction' cd)

here come stainless stephen looking for an affair
cuz even stephen has the desire to
piss of somewhere
but he won't take kindly to you if you openly stare.
he's off on a foreign affair...
so grab you bags and hold your handles.

poly bags your day has come you're put to use at last.
poly bags, you're put to good use at last.

you're a bold coquette and you dress outlandishly,
in the kitchenette such a beauty you brandish. don't point that at me.
you'll make a tidy parcel on a barcelona train
his smokeyness your highness on an overland to spain.
never to be seen again.. so grab your fags and blow your candles.

poly bags your day has come you're put to use at last.
poly bags your day has come you're put to good use at last.
poly bags your day has come you're put to use at last.
poly bags put to good use at last
put to good use at last, put to good use at last.

charlie's atlas

(lyrics included with 'the main attraction' cd)

i never lost my virginity... i know exactly where i put it.
at 21, the toast of paris, just oozing prematurity.
she was nonchalant and graceful.
i was very gaunt, and grateful
you had me singing charles, at last!

so i tunneled with a europanache,
i continentally cut a dash.
will they love me when i'm short of cash?
or leave me for the latest smash?
you know, i had to say "i don't care"
you really should have been there,
travelling charlie's atlas.
now, god's own chosen old son is lonesome,
do we all go off the rails?

i've got the palace to myself tonight.
i can do whatever i like.
i could fix me a drink or a bite.
or reminisce all over the night,
when i was bearing all the hallmarks of a damn good time.
you caught me saying, "charles, at last"
king at last, di's been cast.. king... finally, king finally.

jane's estranged

jane, jane, tall as a crane on a morning light
creaks down again
spoil the spool... pictures of you
him in black, you in white
are torn in two.

i hear little doggies wail...
what will brea? what will fail?
I hear little doggies wail...
What will break? what will fail?

jane, it's the same old showdown again
you're well named, I don't mean you're plain, or calamity or
bored out your brain
his kisses piss you off

and i hear little doggies wail...
i hear black board and nail
i hear little doggies wail...
what will break what will fail...

you in the leather
we could get together
hey we're in the leather
we could get together
hey we're in the leather
maybe we could get together
hey we're in the leather
baby we could get together
hey we're in the leather
we should get together...

save me

(lyrics included with the 'how can i apply...?' cd)

i'd never been in love,
i just liked to play around with the idea of it all.
merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream,
i wake up as i'm starting to fall.
was as caged as a bird,
but the lie that was beautiful in it's simplicity is true,
cause what, when drunk, i see in other women,
sober, I see in you.

look me up and down,
how do you find me? cool? really?
well, though i come on easy i feel uneasy
no matter if our love's a secret, then i can't keep it,
i want you and i need you,
mirror, mirror on the wall, nothing's fair at all...

look me up and down,
how do you find me? cool? really?
well, though i come on easy i feel uneasy
and if our love's a secret, then i can't keep it,
i want you and i need you,
won't you save me, save me, save me...

a worm with a head

(lyrics included with the 'how can i apply...?' cd)

guess you've come to laugh and talk about
the day we excelled on separate bills down south...
there are so many queries and wise old theories
why we have to shout.

we told the truth, right or wrong,
and then later on, you stood on my bones.
throw sticks and stones, come around, let's talk about
(nothing).

claw

poor little thing
standing framed in the door
staged in a fancy dress
silent and dark
as my invitation was
here is your mail
and the scent of your name
hangs in air
as i shave with the curse of the blade
till you would harbor me in

baptized in blood and soap i clawed at
the envelope reads
dear meager things you wrote
could hit home, cut throat

come press my sour skinned and seedless lips to yours
come pass by, let me hear you talk again
let me be your seasoned friend
just let me hear you talk again

listen, i'm glad you came
i knew you would
i waited for months
now we'll...milk the dwindling hours
so where's the sun, i could sneak out the blooms
and bring out some joy
from the gloom, all morning
and afternoon, put on that song
and sway around the room

come press my sour skinned and seedless lips to yours
come pass by, let me here you talk again
i want to be your seasoned friend
just let me hear you talk again
mmmmmm
dadada, nanana
come pass by